(white) flower

a (white) flower 

folds

into itself

transforms

into sweet blackasnight jetblackjaguar blackberry

striding stealthily

into black night’s blackessence

with barely visible blackasbean blackeyes

sliding smoothly

into black kidney’s blackessence

gracefulvisionary blackwinged watcherfriend

watches carefully

over our world’s wounded,

innocent,

vulnerableandviolated,

pained,

stained,

marked

with darkblot heart spots

removable only by heartfelt utterances of remembrance

removable only by heartfelt utterances of remembrance 

removable only by heartbound alchemical fire

purging,

purifying,

raising immediately

a filthy, choking, grey smoke!

a cleansing fire,

not meant to kill,

simply remove

longheld-longcollected-longaccumulated-stale-banknote-yellowed stains

of pains

inflicted heartlessly

by a – heartless bastid – ‘nother

a – heartless bastid – ‘nother

a heartless bastid!!

© May 2009, Feb 2011

happiness sits at my doorstep

happiness sits at my doorstep,

summons,

yet I remain housebound

stayin’ in for a while longer

until I feel stronger

I realize she, at my doorstep, is elusive

fleeting

she is not mine to possess,

tempted as I am to possess her

[the one I seek, seeks me

she will flow through me

course 

through my veins

intimately

embrace my pains]

my neighbour’s name leaves her lips

frequently;

she calls me too

but not with words

we only exchange pleasantries through my window

suddenly she found the spare key and made her way in!

with wonder and awe,

respect, admiration,

not once mentioning cracks on my walls,

torn carpets and all!

happiness sits at my bedside,

summons,

my heart watches wearily, 

warily,

painfully,

unable

to

reach

out

to

her…

© June 2009, Feb 2011

forgive me please

let us stand in this garden

come

avoid eye contact

where the air is thick

with sentiments unspoken,

rife with remnants of an open wound just re-opened,

oozing, seething with pus,

frustration

from what felt like a knife in your back

that left a deep welt

not unlike a belt

lashed

suddenly at your cheek,

or a thoughtless insult

thrown in your face

like some kind of sick stunt!

the big white elephant

is in the room now

that big white elephant

we choose not to see,

yet tread cautiously!

partly out of surprise at how suddenly it got here,

partly out of hesitation to wake it,

lest it lash out and thrash around!

god forbid it make itself known!

let my words burn this page

lest they reach out and scald you!

i’m hangin’ by a thread yet

i seek not to burn you nor burden you

with white elephant sized pain

forgive me

please?

for hurting you

i was hurting too

© Aug 2009